Life in the minivan lane: 5/13/07

Friday, May 18, 2007

News closer to home

Um, does anyone have the email address for the tooth fairy??? Or her pager number?

Once a month (or so) I run the computer (video) for the contemporary worship service at my church. It's really interesting, and I'm learning a bit about the computer program (Song Show Plus), about my own congregation, and sometimes a bit about the world.

This week Rev. Jerry Falwell died. I have absolutely no deep joy or remorse about this. People get old, they die, life goes on. There are some folks that are (rather) dancing on his grave because he did spew a lot of hate. Me, I'm sure that somebody will take his place. There's always another closed-minded bigot around.

Another thing that was (rather) fascinating this week ... The Phelps gang from Westboro Baptist Church (and I will NOT put a hyperlink to godhatesfags on this blog -- not now, not never, not noway) is going to be PROTESTING at the funeral of Jerry Falwell because

There is little doubt that Falwell split Hell wide open the instant he died. The evidence is compelling, overwhelming, and irrefragable. To wit:
1. Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist when he was a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri, and sold his soul to Free-Willism (Arminianism) for lucre.

2. Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC’s faithful Bible preaching—thereby committing the unpardonable sin—otherwise known as the sin against the Holy Ghost.

3. Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc. All for lucre—making him guilty of their sins.

Falwell is in Hell, Praise God!!

UMMMM -- yeah Falwell the ultra liberal???

NOW - how do these two things fit. My doing the computer for worship and Phelps.

Well, this week the theme is "Christian Unity" and the metaphor is "Coming Together."

In my prep work, I dug around on the World Council of Churches website. Grabbed some images from the WCC 9th Assembly. Bishop Tutu was there. Lots of other folks as well.

Falwell never was at a WCC Assembly (they have had a thing or two to say about some of his comments -- not very umm flattering).

I've a hunch that Phelps won't be heading up their next Assembly either.

A few weeks ago, many Koreans were feeling remorseful and apologetic about what happened at Virginia Tech (I know our Associate Pastor, who's Korean, was concerned). I didn't really understand WHY, I mean just because of what some dumb idiot does that shouldn't reflect on what anyone thinks about other people in that race, religion, sex, ....

NOW I get it -- if these idiots are what non Christians think of when they think of the term "Christian" -- I'd want to completely disassociate myself.

Well, at any rate, if the folks at Westboro Baptist Church ARE "right" and those that follow their ways are the only ones getting to heaven -- I'm not thinking it's where I'd want to spend eternity.

I'm just sayin...

We will work with each other, we will work side by side
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
And we'll guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

At least I don't need a shopping list .......

Chip sometimes complains about what I make for dinner (tough noogies). I tell him that if he has any requests he needs to put them in ahead of time.

SO - last night he made a request for today. Cheeseburgers and fries.

HEY -- at least I don't need to write up a shopping list -- it's pretty well stuck in my brain.

10 points to the first person that types in my shopping, AND references the source. I'll be surprised if it's not a lady from San Diego.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Clean AND Green

You can find the original article here.

Hmmmm, I've been looking for a new gig -- I wonder if I can open one of these???

YO CREM!!! You want to fund me in a new business venture. You can do all the interviews.

X-rated nude car wash gets police all-clear
Thu May 17, 2007 11:50AM EDT

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A nude car wash offering an X-rated sideshow and topless cleaning in Australia's tropical Queensland state has been given the all-clear after police and officials said they were powerless to scrub it.

The Bubbles 'n' Babes car wash in Brisbane prompted a flood of complaints with a topless car wash for A$55 ($45) and a nude car wash with X-rated lap-dance service for A$100. "If it was approved for a car wash then I can't imagine how we can stop them," Lord Mayor Campbell Newman told a council meeting with worried local lawmakers.

Professional car washes have boomed in most cities with drought-stricken Australians banned from washing their own cars due to tough water restrictions.

Queensland police denied any cover-up in a state where their image has been dented by past accusations of police corruption and involvement with organized crime.

The raunchy wash, set up by a strip-club owner, was screened from the public and used recycled water to avoid breaching water use restrictions, they said.

"We don't want any traffic accidents caused by people looking at the girls instead of looking at the road," Superintendent Colin Campbell told local media.

© Reuters 2006. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content, including by caching, framing or similar means, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters and the Reuters sphere logo are registered trademarks and trademarks of the Reuters group of companies

And we need this because???

snopes.com is a truly wonderful, useful site. It is an urban legends reference page. If you get one of those emails from BigBrosWife or whoever the person that *you* get forwards of forwards of forwards from, you can always check snopes.com to see whether you've just (once again) received a load of bunk.

My question of the day is this. Why do we need snopes.com? The following is from this article in the Chicago Tribune.
Child finds marijuana in Happy Meal

The Associated Press
May 16, 2007, 12:25 PM CDT

OTTAWA, Ill. -- A 17-year-old fast-food employee is facing drug charges after allegedly hiding marijuana in a Happy Meal that ended up with a young child.

Ottawa Police Chief Brian Zeilmann said a man and his three children went through a McDonald's drive-through Monday to order Happy Meals.

One of the children, an 8-year-old girl, found a lighter, pipe, and bag of marijuana in her Happy Meal, Zeilmann said. Her father went to the police.

A McDonald's employee, Brandon Scott of Ottawa, was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, authorities said.

Zeilmann said the owners of the restaurant cooperated with the investigation that led to the arrest.
Copyright © 2007, The Associated Press

Illinois is a great place to live. We get 10 month old Bubba Ludwig with a gun permit, and an 8 year old picking up pot with her Happy Meal.

Tell me again why we need to make stuff up? Truth proves, once again, to be stranger than fiction.

"But she said she wanted a HAPPY MEAL"

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Adults today (you're not going to like this)

There's a lot of talk about "kids today." You know the story "kids today this" "kids today that" "kids, kids, kids." "Back in the day ..." But we've been saying this for quite some years now. I'm sure that Adam and Eve were exasperated with Cain and Abel.

Well, today my mind went wandering (a scary thing, as there's a nonzero chance that it might wander off and not come back) and I started wondering about some things.

"Back in the day" I held the line pretty well. Ah yes, I was not one to wander from the path of righteousness. Because, of course, I ~~was so pure and innocent~~ knew damn well that if I screwed up my folks would know about it before I got home -- and they'd trust whatever any grownup said 100 times more than anything I would say.

One thing I don't remember from "back in the day" (and it could just be because I was young and not aware) was looking for adult help. And I don't necessarily remember the leaders, coaches, etc. necessarily being the PARENTS of my peers. In my 11 years of Girl Scouts, I only recall two years that the leader of the troop was a mom of one of the girls (and man I couldn't WAIT to get out of mom's troop -- I even moved up a year early to get away from mom

Of course, mom probably BEGGED Toots & Tommie to take me off her hands).

Now though, it seems that in every activity my kids are in, the adults involved are parents of someone in the group, and in many cases teeth are pulled in order to get the people involved. (Or activities are cancelled).

So my question is this? When you ask "what's the problem with kids today" I'll ask "where are the adults?" Where are the people that are *voluntarily* involved with kids, just because they love kids of a certain age or in a certain activity.

Are we all "too busy"?

And exactly what is it that we are "too busy" doing? (I hate when you ask someone what they're up too and they say they're "busy" are you too dang "busy" to even bother to have a conversation what what you're "busy" doing???)

Now, I know there are single adults out there (or married adults without kids, or adults with adult children) that might take a moment to point out that if they were to start to volunteer with kids, they'd fall under suspicion. What single guy would hang around with a bunch of little kids? So that gives us some other questions, like have we either organized or background checked or otherwise scared off some otherwise interested people? (I remember being a Brownie leader when I was about 20 and someone asking me which kid was mine. I'm like "honey I didn't go having any kids when I was 12")

When the day comes that my kids figure out that mom doesn't have a clue and they can't even bother to talk to me, what other trusted adults will they have to turn to???? I'd much rather have them talk to an Aunt or Uncle or Crem than talk to some other clueless kid.

What on earth is more important than being actively and lovingly involved in the lives of young people? Must be mighty significant cause we're all so dang "busy" doing it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Yet somehow, I don't feel necessarily safer

Well, I guess we can safely say that he's not a convicted felon.....

Firstcoastnews.com Article
Toddler Given Gun Permit

CHICAGO (AP) -- Bubba Ludwig can't walk, talk or open the refrigerator door -- but he does have his very own Illinois gun permit.

The 10-month-old, whose given name is Howard David Ludwig, was issued a firearm owner's identification card after his father, Howard Ludwig, paid the $5 fee and filled out the application, not expecting to actually get one.

The card lists the baby's height (2 feet, 3 inches), weight (20 pounds) and has a scribble where the signature should be.

With some exceptions, the cards are required of any Illinois residents purchasing or possessing firearms or ammunition within the state. There are no age restrictions on the cards, an official said.

Illinois State Police oversee the application process. Their purpose, said Lt. Scott Compton, is to keep guns out of the hands of convicted felons, those under an order of protection and those convicted of domestic violence.

"Does a 10-month-old need a FOID card? No, but there are no restrictions under the act regarding age of applicants," he said.

Ludwig, 30, of Chicago, applied for the card after his own father bought Bubba a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift. The weapon will probably be kept at Ludwig's father's house until the boy is at least 14.

Associate Press

How many girls do you know named Oscar

I was talking to a girlfriend earlier, about girl stuff. And I got to thinking ...

Does it surprise ANYONE (okay -- any FEMALE one) that the following was written by a man??
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

There are some days (weeks, months, years) that being a girl is just not "enjoy"able.

I mean -- if Oscar Hammerstein wasn't already dead for 40+ years, I might be tempted to hunt him down and shoot him.

I'm JUST SAYIN .....