Universal truths (or at least planetary truths)

You MUST check this webcomic, which I read daily. It's about a group of geeks that work for a fictional ISP. I know some about computers, and some about geeks so I find it entertaining most days.

However, TODAY J.D. Frazer had me laughing out loud. Why ????



Funny thing is, I looked about and can't find any references to him having children. I mean, from that comic I'd SWEAR his kids just started summer vacation.

THAT explains it ...

NOW I get it -- while I was cleaning out the house I found some R.O.U.S.'s hanging around.

Your Love Life is Like The Princess Bride

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." For you, love is like a fairy tale - albeit a fairly twisted one. You believe romance is all about loyalty, fate, and a good big of goofy fun. Your love style: Idealistic yet quirky Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Perfectly romantic

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

Don't blame me -- it's innate

So -- after the Great Flooring (and redecorating) Project of 2007 is done, if you don't like it, remember it's not inconsistent, it's CREATIVE!!

You Are 86% Creative

You are an incredibly creative person. For you, there are no bounds or limits to your creativity. Your next creation could be something very great... Or at least very cool!

How Creative Are You?

The Great Flooring Project of 2007

We are in the process of installing flooring over the first floor of my house. Spouse and I are installing. A while ago we learned that we don't work well together, and if we're working together we have to have one person in charge and one person only doing exactly what he or she is told. I'm much better at taking direction than Spouse. Which is not to say that I'm exactly stellar at taking directions, but I suppose an oak tree is slightly more pliable than a brick wall.

We decided to get some new flooring because our wonderful puppy caused the need in one room (he had some dietary issues), lucky for you unfortunately for you guys - we don't have before pictures of the carpet. And it's also unfortunate I didn't get pictures of the carpet padding while I was painting, nobody will ever get to see how well the carpet padding went with the blue 3M painting tape.

This is taking longer than we expected. I will give kudos to the folks at iFLOOR. They sell both flooring and installation. The salesman we bought our stuff from comes from an installing background. We were having trouble, we went back to the store, and got a "hands on" demonstration. And I'm sure that it will continue to take a while. But I'm trying to remember the "mommy mantra" this too shall pass and eventually it will be done.

After all, myself, my Spouse, hammers, and power tools is not a really great combination.

Spouse at work

we sent this shot to Crem for a phone consult as to what to do with the doorjam.
We're not suppose to "need" to tape the floor, but we discovered it works better.

I'm looking forward to sending the after pictures.

Magicicada

Ah yes, another 17 years have come and gone and Magiciciada is back. You can find Ciciadas in the Chicagoland area by following this map

We have not been blessed with the cicidas in my neighborhood. I understand it's because of the use of grubix? or something when our development went in.

Today however, Chip, Princess, and I went to the annual Pignic (guinea pig pignic) for The Critter Corral, A Guinea Pig Rescue.

The Pignic was held at a forest preserve in a nearby town. As we were driving every now and then I'd open my car window and say "THAT sound is the cicadas." We hadn't really heard them yet. Little did we realize that once we arrived at the Pignic we would be subjected to the noise for 2.5 hours able to hear the lovely songs of Magicicada.

And now that I got to do that, I'm more then willing to wait 17 years to put up with hear that sound again.

For those of you on the other side of the Mississippi that will never experience it, and want a taste of it, go find a very old gas powered lawn mower. Fire it up. Forget about your hearing protectors. Now get about another dozen or so lawn mowers and fire them up. Then play that sound endlessly for the next 6 weeks.

Interesting California Bill

Was reading news today and ran across this article about the possibility of a law in California that requires people to spay and neuter their pets. It's passed the Assembly, and now moves to the Senate and then the Governor's desk. There are exemptions for breeders and owners of guide dogs (and some others -- I think there's like 20+ exemptions). Some Republicans consider this bill "micro-managing." Governor Arnie will not disclose whether his dogs are neutered.

There could be a fine for up to $500 for each unneutered animal.

A couple of things stick out in my mind when I'm looking at this ... First of all, I've read between $250 MILLION and $300 MILLION dollars (of taxpayer money) is spend on caring for unwanted animals in California per year.

But hey -- it's the state budget of California -- so really whats a couple of hundred million -- I mean who cares?? right???

OH - and another thing that sticks out in my mind. One common comment is that if this bill passes there will be NO more shelter animals in California for people to adopt. People in CA will have to go out and spend really big money on purebred animals because all the shelters will close down.

To the people of the great state of California ..... If this bill passes, I will personally make you two promises.

1) while there may be a reduction of unwanted animals in California, there will never be complete compliance with this bill and there will still be plenty of mixed breed animals to adopt.

2) even if by some really odd circumstance there are *NO* unwanted animals left in California, I assure you there are enough idiots in the other 47 contiguous states that will be having enough unneutered strays running around, there will be no shortage of unwanted animals.

I've looked at some of the articles and discussion on this bill (I find it far more interesting that whether or not Paris Hilton is in jail and whether or not she's eating) and HAD to laugh at the following quote from The San Jose Mercury News ...

(Assemblyman Plescia, R- Sandiego) said the Assembly should stop crafting legislation in the "crazy bill factory" before Californians pass a ballot initiative "mandating the spaying and neutering of legislators."

Spaying and neutering legislators ...... hmmmmmmmmmmm

What's in a name .....

My day in reverse.

The last stop of the day was interesting. We had stopped at a teacher supply store to get a "graduation" present for Nephew1, who just "graduated" from Kindergarten. I'm wondering why I'm getting a graduation present for Kindergarten for chrissake and am determined not to spend too much money sure the party won't be too bad.

One of the things I looked at was a trivia/fact book for Illinois. (Who Wants to be a Millionaire Illinois Edition or some such) I thought this might be fun for him, Niece4, Chip, and Princess. So I open up the book to a random page and see the following question ....

Which of the following skyscrapers is not in Chicago

1. Sears Tower
2. Empire State Building
3. John Hancock Building
4. Amoco Building

Now, for those that don't live in Illinois (or don't care) the Amoco Building changed names in Jan. 2001 to the Aon Building. (Incidentally, the book was copyrighted in 2001, which means that was after the name change. I'm reading this going ummm I count two buildings that aren't in Illinois. We ended up getting him a Mad Libs book.

This was not the first glaring error I had experienced this evening -- nope not even. The family and I went out to dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise. I may very well be corrupting my children raising two little parrotheads.


Anyway - it being Thursday night there was live music. Some guy was singing. He did some Elvis, Bob Dylan, Eagles, finally he did some Jimmy Buffett and

MESSED UP THE WORDS

On CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE

His mamma didn't raise him right -- at least MY kids know the words.

I hope they didn't pay him too much. He certainly wasn't worth all that.

He might have sounded better if I was in the bar, and had had a few boat drinks.

Fuzzy takes the hit

We have neighbors (GreenThumb and CopGuy) that throw two wonderful parties per year. They invite all their friends, and ALL their neighbors (taking the theory that the neighbors can't complain about the party if they're all at the party).

This weekend they had an outdoor party and the weather was lovely. GreenThumb's "baby" TinyPup is similar to this ....



an entire 8 pounds of love. TinyPup is a very social dog, but spent most of the afternoon in hiding. After a while GreenThumb brough TinyPup out and the young girls (I think ranging in age from like 5-8) had a GRAND time playing with her. A few times adult intervention was necessary. I suggested to GreenThumb that I might bring Fuzzybutt by and give TinyPup a break. She said she'd take TinyPup in after a bit and Fuzzybutt could come by. A little after that, GreenThumb was talking to friends or relations, and I looked over and saw the girls, TinyPup wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in a stroller. Needless to say, THAT was the end of that.

TinyPup went inside, I called Spouse (he'd gone home already -- he's not a party animal) and he sent Chip down with Fuzzybutt. Unlike Spouse, Fuzzybutt enjoyed being a party animal, and getting great deals of attention. He didn't even mind the girls fawning all over him (but even put together he outweighed the girls).

Fuzzybutt then went home, where he was subjected to even more torture enjoyed a grooming.

I forget ......

I wish I knew how to embed music -- I'd insert "Baby Elephant Walk" here. Last night I had a dream that I got a pet elephant and his (or her) entire family. I think I had 7 elephants. I think there were three other young elephants and three adult elephants, and I was walking around with them.

I remember waking up from the dream thinking MAN I must be bloody wealthy to afford the upkeep on those babies

So this morning (realizing that I'm not Freud and looking things up by one word on the Internet is not going to solve all my life's problems I look up elephant in a few dream dictionaries.

This interpretation states:

To see an elephant in your dream, suggests that you either need to be more patient and understanding of others.

I'm sure there's a few people who'd agree that I need to be more patient and understanding. Funny thing though -- it seems like that's 1/2 a sentence it should read suggests that you either need to be more patient or understanding of others or it could state suggests that you either need to be more patient and understanding of others and/or. I'm so impatient of incomplete sentences. I simply don't understand it at all.

This same definition goes on to say that:

The elephant is also a symbol of power, strength, and intellect.

Hmmmm, and I powerful, strong, and intellectual? Most days I don't so much think so.

Now, I am so liking this interpretation: ...

elephant - As a gift: Sense of abundance or prosperity coming. Baby: Good luck or fortune.

Did I mention they were gifts? And there were 7 elephants? And 3 of them were babies?? 7 times the abundance or prosperity and 3 times the good luck or fortune.

This dream dictionary and this dream dictionary both say the exact same thing:

Elephant Dreams
Elephants in dreams may represent knowledge, power, and strength. They are also associated with long memory and "thick skin." However, depending on the dream’s details, the elephant may be a symbol of a large burden. Additionally, in the dream you may be making efforts to remember something important and of great magnitude.

Now what was I thinking????? I forget.

Of course I'm a Goddess

Which God or Goddess are you like? Your Result: Goddess Bast   You are the Goddess Bast. You are quiet and calm, but when need be, you are firm and fierce. You are full of love, and you always care. People often come to you for advise or guidance, and you willingly give it. Congatulations!! You are Goddess!!
Goddess Sekhemet
Budha
The Christian God
You are your own God or Goddess
Jesus
God Zeus
Satan
Which God or Goddess are you like? Make Your Own Quiz

To Christina

From this site comes my favorite from the vast collection at the Art Institute of Chicago. Before kids I was a member for years and year and years. Actually, I was a member when I did NOT live in Chicago (it was cheap to be a National Associate, and I was in town often enough that it was worth it).



Picasso -- Crazy Woman with Cats (hey - it's been the story of my life at times).

HELP (not)

We need to replace the flooring in the dining room. I decided before we do the floors we I might as well paint the walls. They haven't been done since we moved into the house, and I've been wanting to paint for a while. The way I figure it, might as well paint over the old -- about to be discarded -- carpet. Doesn't matter if I splash paint all over that now does it.

I'm sure many of you have seen TV shows or commercials or print ads with the lovely couple bonding over redecorating their lovely suburban home. Ah yes, the perfect married couple bonding over cooperative job efforts.

Well, as Bob Dylan would say "It Ain't Me Babe." Spouse and I figured out a long time ago that we don't work well together. I'm not saying that like it's necessarily a bad thing - it's just a fact of our relationship.

SO -- over the past two days I've been doing all the "painting stuff." Prepping the walls, washing, taping, painting, cleaning up, putting on the faux stuff.

I've had some help from both Princess and Spouse.

I'd probably be able to work twice as fast with less than half the help.

I'm just saying. OR -- as Helen Reddy said

Leave me alone won't you leave me alone
Please leave me alone, no leave me alone
Leave me alone, just leave me alone, oh leave me

Can I play too?? Edited (thanks MLL)

One Feather Tail did this and I was going to but forgot, then it popped up again on Doc Thelma's House (which is private so you might not be able to link to it) and A Squib's Life. I figure it's my turn to play.

What I have done

Those that I have done are in italics, my comments are bold.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said “I love you” and meant it!
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea WAY COOL
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise I'm not good at getting up early, but I am good at staying up late.
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game I guess that depends on your definition? A Cubs game? Yes. A World Series Game, no?
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables Yeah, but going to Farmer's Market is much more convenient.
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Drunk tequila In a margarita
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster see number 31.
35. Scored a winning goal
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 5 continents
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk Hmmm, maybe part of the reason my ex-husband is my EX-husband.
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
47. Midnight walk on the beach
45. Gone sky diving
49. Taken a train through Europe
50. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
51. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
52. Milked a cow
53. Alphabetized your CDs
54. Sung karaoke
55. Lounged around in bed all day BEFORE number 93.
56. Gone scuba diving
57. Kissed in the rain
58. Gone to a drive-in theatre
59. Started a business
60. Taken a martial arts class
61. Been in a movie
62. Crashed a party
63. Gone without food for 5 days
64. Gotten a tattoo
65. Got flowers for no reason and given
66. Performed on stage
67. Been to Las Vegas
68. Recorded music
69. Eaten shark
70. Buried one/both of your parents
71. Been on a cruise ship
72. Spoken more than one language fluently
73. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over Well, a job was involved.
74. Walked a famous bridge
75. Had plastic surgery
76. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
79. Tried to lose weight seriously
80. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone Hmmm, does it count if someone else actually broke the bone for me??
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be “sick”
90. Swam in the Pacific Ocean
91. Saved someone’s life No, but saved someone's eyesight.
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth (Self only)
94. Hitchhiked No -- but taken rides with strangers.
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Painted Desert
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Had an out-of-body experience

Edited

Bye Bye Waitress

There are quite a number of blogs I read on a regular basis (see list to the right, under the Deathly Hallows countdown). Three of these blogs are "servers" of sorts, every one's favorite waiter, the lady that gives us something to go with our caffeine fix, and a good old barmaid. The good old barmaid is retiring from blogging, and I'll miss her insights and commentary on humans.

I'm not sure if these three have improved my tipping practices (I think I've been pretty good all along) but they've certainly made me more aware of my practices. They've also (jointly) reminded me (what I already knew) that "folks is folks" and it's interesting how humans everywhere are the same.

One that that totally amuses me though, these three (wonderful) writers have all had encounters with and commented about cheap mother fuck3rs the more frugal members of our society.

I run a tax business (anyone want to buy it) The thing that I have found to be of interest, is when the cheap mother fuck3rs more frugal folks, is that sometimes the people that whine and moan and complain are apt to try to strike a deal are often loaded not those in the most need.

When the folks go into a restaurant and ask for hot water and lemon (while having brought their own tea bags), or gentlemen go and sit and have "one" beer at Waitress' bar, or have Barista Brat make multiple bar drinks because the first (and second and third) were wrong (and then try to walk out with the extras for free) the folks serving them don't know something that I get to find out....

When these same folks come into my shop and try to finagle their way to get discounts on my services (my friend paid "$x.xx at the competition") ("can't I use this coupon AND this coupon AND this coupon") ("but I got a quote of $x.xx on the phone" when I make the policy and know dang well exactly what quotes are given over the phone) they forget...

I'm doing your taxes honey -- I know exactly what you make, what your mortgage payments are, where you live, what your property taxes are, how much you've made (or lost) this year on capital gains.

So Waitress, Brat, Waiter, the next time someone comes in and tries to pull one over on you -- yeah, you could think that they might need a break, but that could also be the person that makes $180,000 a year and LOSES (yea that's right loses) over $10,000 per year gambling.

At the end of this tax season when my manager and I were looking back and realized, the people that bitched the MOST were also the people that MADE the most.

Surprised??

(NOTE -- there were also a number of people that were wonderful, salt of the earth, and treated us as fairly as we treated them).

It's not my fault man

Excerpts from this article are below ...

Is Shrek bad for your kid's health?
May 24, 2007

By MIKE MITCHELL Staff Writer

Shrek might be making your children fat.

Shrek can be seen on boxes of sugary cereals, pops, juice drinks, M&Ms, McDonald's Happy Meals and even Cheetos that make your tongue turn green - all foods that nutrition experts consider major contributors to obesity in America.

The article goes on to talking about kids begging mom for (non nutritional) Shrek cereal.

Now, I don't know about where you go grocery shopping, but where I shop most of the products have nutritional information on labels, which I'm capable of reading. Also, when I get to the check out counter, I am pulling out my credit and spending my money. Shrek ain't there buying my groceries.

So -- I guess what I'm saying is that if it's MY money that's going to buy the groceries (or the Happy Meals or whatever), well then I guess

"the buck stops here."

Dear George, Make up your freaking mind!!!!!

THIS from a speech George W. gave in April .....

President Bush Visits East Grand Rapids, Discusses Global War on Terror
"So no matter how frustrating the fight in Iraq can be, no matter how much we wish the war was over, the security of our country depends directly on the outcome of Iraq. The price of giving up there would be paid in American lives for years to come. ... Success in Iraq would bring something powerful and new -- a democracy at the heart of the Middle East, a nation that fights terrorists instead of harboring them, and a powerful example for others of the power of liberty to overcome an ideology of hate."

President George W. Bush
April 20, 2007

THIS from AP newswire

Gay Arab linguists continue to be discharged

Congressmen seek hearing on specialists dismissed under ‘don’t ask’ policy
By Lolita C. Baldor - The Associated Press
Posted : Wednesday May 23, 2007 21:14:27 EDT

WASHINGTON — Lawmakers who say the military has kicked out 58 Arabic linguists because they were gay want the Pentagon to explain how it can afford to let the valuable language specialists go.

Seizing on the latest discharges, involving three specialists, members of the House of Representatives wrote the House Armed Services Committee chairman that the continued loss of such “capable, highly skilled Arabic linguists continues to compromise our national security during time of war.”

*IF* the war is so important to the "security of our country" why are you discharging VALUABLE specialists? It takes a couple of weeks to learn how to point and shoot a rifle, it takes *YEARS* to learn how to be a specialist in a language.

The way I see it, if these folks are not necessary to the conflict, well than it can't be all that important to begin with and

QUIT WASTING MY TAX MONEY!!!!!

I always liked big cats

What is Your Patronus? Version 1

Your Patronus is the Cougar! The cougar is a symbol of power, swiftness and balance. He is one of the most beautiful creatures in North America and will protect you with his powerful claws. Congratulations!That your Patronus is a cougar says that you are a quick thinker who leads a very balanced life. This quick thinking and balance cause you to often be chosen as a leader. Be careful not to let that power go to your head and you will be an excellent witch or wizard!
Take this quiz!








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V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

One of the things I love about my friend Crem is that I often ask his opinion on topics, and then completely ignore anything that he says. Anyway, during the week of July 16 the minivan will be heading to Branson, Missouri. Branson is a great vacation for the rest of family. There's amusement parks for the kiddies, and shows for the grandparents.

Anyone who has travelled with their family, and anyone who stays in a condo (or other house type unit - you know with a full kitchen and everything) knows that, really it's more of a change of scene for mom than a real vacation. Not that a change of scene is bad, but it's still not vacation. While I'm stuck in Branson there's going to be what I consider an event of epic proportions. The release of the long awaited final book in the Harry Potter series.

Now, I don't want anyone to think that this is significant only to Chip -- I mean it is but it's also something that Ramblingmom is waiting for.

There was a plan. The plan was that the morning after the release the grandparents would wander down to Walmart and get a copy of the book. Then I would spend the rest of the trip sneaking whatever peeks I can at the book. But I started thinking (and we all know how dangerous THAT can be) I don't WANT to wait, and one thought I had was to find a nearby midnight release party and go with Chip. Well, in this case (as far as I can tell) "nearby" means an hour away in Springfield, MO.

So I asked Crem's opinion "what do you think if Chip and I go on a mini road trip of our own." I don't recall his exact response but it was something along the lines of "it's JUST a book."

Yeah, sure, right, and Guinness is "JUST a beer."

So, I guess the new plan is that Chip and I will be driving to a release party, he's then ordered to read to me in the car on the trip back to Branson. The next day I'm not quite sure what exactly the plan is, but I'm thinking that might be a great day to hit the water park. Ramblingmom can find an umbrella and well hopefully Spouse will make sure the kids don't drown.

SIL is the family trip organizer (have fun honey -- it's that important to you go all out) and she was planning what shows the family would go to on what days. The original plan was for the family to go to some show on Saturday. My response

I think of all the shows the only one that would really interest
Chip is the one you have scheduled for Saturday morning. Could
that be scheduled for EARLIER in the week, as I expect Saturday
morning both Chip and I will have our respective noses buried in a
book.

Oh yeah, we're buying two copies of the book. I'm sure others will want to read them when we're done so we'll sell off a used copy. But I don't think it would be in good taste for Chip to come back from vacation bruised because mom keeps beating him up to get hold of the book again.

personal to the guy I was talking to on Sunday

Like I was sayin ....

I'm not yet ready to rule out the possibility of being a grandparent.

I invite you to copy this.

Some questions for us to ponder while awaiting the book!

Which would you prefer for a pet: Hedwig, Crookshanks, Trevor, Fang or Fawkes?

Crookshanks

What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?

A peaceful, well organized home.

What subject would be your favorite at Hogwarts? (assume a nice and competent teacher): Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Divination, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures or Defense Against the Dark Arts?

Divination

Which woud be your least favorite?

History of Magic (yeah I know it's not listed)

In which House would the Sorting Hat place you?

Well, I'm not bright (Ravenclaw), I'm not "unafraid of toil" (Hufflepuff), I'm certainly not power hungry (Slytherin), and I am rather strong so I must be Gryffindor.

Could you see Thestrals?

yes

Which Quidditch position would you prefer to play: Keeper, Beater,
Chaser, or Seeker?

Beater.

Which magical object would be most useful to you, Sneak-o-scope, Foe
Glass, Time-turner, Remembrall, or Pensieve?

Remembrall

What would be your preferred Hogwarts sweet: Chocolate Frogs, Bertie's
Every Flavor Beans, Acid pops, Cockroach cluster?

CHOCOLATE FROGS

Pumpkin juice, butterbeer, or elf-made wine?

elf-made wine

Is your best friend more like Ron, Herimone, Luna, Neville, Ginny or Hagrid?

Hmmm, as he reads this I best be careful. Neville -- he's quiet, he seemlingly hangs out in the background, and the depth of his knowledge is often surprising. He would also stand up to his friends if they were wrong.

Is the most toxic person in your life more like Lockhart, Snape, Umbridge, Malfoy, Filch or Fudge?

Snape

Is your most embarrassing relative most like Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon,
Dudley, or Percy Weasley?

I'm not related to Uncle Vernon. The rest of them ... well, I understand the characters, I'm just sayin'

What shape would your patronus take?

Dog