To me this matters

Current events ....

Super Bowl: I guess the commercials are okay

March Madness: That's something to do with basketball, right?

Sanjaya: WhatEVER

Now *THIS* I do care about ...

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson to Reprise Roles in the Final Two Installments of Warner Bros. Pictures' ''Harry Potter'' Film Franchise

WHEW!!!!! Lays to rest

1) the Hasta la vista Hermione rumors.

2) the Dan will be too old camp

I actually had this discussion with Crem. He pointed out that he thought (or that others thought) that Dan might to "too old" to play Harry when the final movie comes out. NOW --at most by the time the final movie comes out it will be 2011 -- which is ten years after Sorcerer's Stone was first released so he'd have aged an extra three years in the 7 years of school.

Here's my thought ... I need to suspend my belief for the following

some orphan kid finds out he's not an ordinary orphan -- but the child of wizards?

speaking of which, his parents didn't die in an auto accident - but were murdered by the most evil wizard that ever lived ...

now it happens that this evil wizard has a name that nobody will ever say, and he lived (at least in the first book/movie) on the back of some other guys head.

(And we haven't touched on the ghosts, house elves, platform 9-3/4 and the Knight bus and the flying soccer games).

I *think* I can wrap my mind around an "AGED" Harry, Hermoine, and Ron.

I'm looking forward to reading the final book and seeing movies 5, 6, and 7. (However, I am *NOT* looking forward to the series ending. I'll sort of miss speculating what will happen to Harry and Co.)

BURBANK, CALIF., March 23 /CNW/ - Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson will reprise the roles they have made their own: teen wizards Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, respectively, in Warner Bros. Pictures' "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," the final two motion picture adaptations of J.K. Rowling's best-selling book series. The announcement was made today by Jeff Robinov, President of Production, Warner Bros. Pictures.

In making the announcement, Robinov said, "When Daniel, Rupert and Emma were first cast as Harry, Ron and Hermione, we knew they were not only talented, but had a very special chemistry. Through the years, and in each of the 'Harry Potter' films, we have watched them grow into extraordinary young adults, as well as remarkable actors. It would be inconceivable to imagine anyone else in the roles with which they have become so identified, so we are thrilled and proud that Daniel, Rupert and Emma have chosen to complete the arc of their characters in the final two films."

Both "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" are being produced by David Heyman, who has produced all of the Harry Potter films to date and was instrumental in bringing the franchise to the screen, beginning with the first blockbuster, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." David Barron, who served as an executive producer on "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and is a producer on the upcoming "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," will also be producing the final two installments of the franchise.

Producer David Heyman said, "One of the highlights of this journey has been to witness Dan, Rupert and Emma blossom from children into young adults. They have emerged as consummate professionals who are dedicated to honing their craft and striving for excellence. And yet, throughout, they have retained their enthusiasm and spirit, and they remain, to this day, the same wonderful, kind and generous individuals I met all those years ago."

Daniel Radcliffe remarked, "Playing the role of Harry Potter has been an immense privilege, and I look forward to completing the series. I feel a huge sense of loyalty to the character of Harry and the fans who have supported these films over the years. During filming, I have learnt so much, made lots of friends and met people who have changed my life. I am indebted to J K Rowling, Warner Bros. and David Heyman for giving me this fantastic opportunity."

Emma Watson stated, "I could never let Hermione go--she is my hero! I love her too much and love what playing her has meant to me. I am excited and honoured to be finishing what I started and playing her in all seven of the films."

Rupert Grint offered, "Ron Weasley has become a big part of my life and not just because we've both got ginger hair! I've been so proud to play him and loved every second of being part of this world. I'm really looking forward to filming the last two films and being back with my 'Weasley family' and, of course, to seeing my good friends Emma and Dan. Thank you to everyone for being so supportive over the years; we couldn't have done it without you."

Warner Bros. Pictures' fifth film in the series, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," is slated for release in the U.S. on July 13, 07.

Dan, Emma, and Rupert will go down in history with other famous threesomes.

It must be true -- I took a test.

Your results:
You are Deanna Troi

Deanna Troi 75% Chekov 70% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 55% James T. Kirk (Captain) 50% Uhura 50% Will Riker 50% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 45% Geordi LaForge 45% Beverly Crusher 40% Worf 40% Spock 37% Data 30% Jean-Luc Picard 25% Mr. Scott 20% Mr. Sulu 0%

You are a caring and loving individual. You understand people's emotions and you are able to comfort and counsel them.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

More testing

You Are 28% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

It's not easy being green

I'm not sure exactly what this means

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 90% Spider-Man 80% Superman 70% Catwoman 70% Robin 65% Hulk 65% Supergirl 55% The Flash 55% Batman 45% Wonder Woman 45% Iron Man 25%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

If you know the answer -- please explain it to me?????

According to recent news, the U.S. military is having trouble finding enough people to send over to the desert to get killed, so they have lowered their standards and started accepting soldiers that are former convicts.

Check out this article from the Chicago Tribune. I'll pull some quotes below. But a few comments first.

Over the *many* years I've been on Spaceship Earth, I've known quite a few gays, and quite a few lesbians. To the best of my recollection I haven't had any issues with any of them (and quite a few really run times to boot - ever gone square dancing with a bunch of gay boys???) I suppose if I did have any issues there was nothing that big, as I've forgotten about it. OH YEAH -- there was one time -- you'll have to go to the end of this posting to find out.

Over the years, to my knowledge, I've had one close encounter with a former convict. Surgery was needed to mend broken bones, and we took to calling the look I wore for the next few weeks "variations on a raccoon." Really I never knew there were so very many shades of purple.

So really -- who would you rather be "in the trenches" with?? Someone that would rather crack your head open?? Or someone that helps pull you up by the bootstraps when your head has been cracked open??

`Don't ask' rule's serious tradeoffs

Published March 4, 2007

Thanks to the growing demands of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the U.S. military has had increasing trouble finding and keeping recruits. So it's had to lower its standards. How much? Since 2003, the number of convicted felons allowed to join has nearly doubled--to 1,605 last year. The military has also welcomed nearly 44,000 enlistees convicted of serious misdemeanors. Going from an orange jumpsuit to desert camo must be a refreshing change.

But the Pentagon hasn't eliminated its standards entirely. You still can't serve your country if you have a thing for people of your own sex. And if you are secretly gay, you can be kicked out if your sexual orientation becomes known. Since 1993, more than 11,000 troops have been discharged under President Bill Clinton's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If you were in the Army, would you rather bunk next to a homosexual or an ex-con?

...

Many of those soldiers evicted under the existing policy have vital skills that are hard to replace, such as fluency in Arabic or Farsi. At the same time the military is discharging gays, it is compelled to embrace ex-cons. That's the weird tradeoff we've chosen with don't-ask-don't-tell.

If the policy were only detrimental to gays, it might be justified. But right now, it looks like a policy billed as preserving military effectiveness that actually does just the opposite.

----------

Steve Chapman is a member of the Tribune's editorial board. E-mail: schapman@tribune.com

As promised, I did once take issue with something that one of my gay friends said. He had just finished up his Master's and was going on to his Ph.D. At the time we were both living in a University town and completely surrounded by academic type people.

Since he had finished up his thesis shortly before graduation time, I asked if he was going to go through graduation and invite his family out and such. He said "it's ONLY a Master's." I really laid into him - told him that just because he is hanging around a bunch of Professors and Ph.D.s and such it doesn't mean that a Master's is worthless and how many people in his family have a Master's and how many people in the town he grew up in had a Master's or a Bachelor's or whatever. I laid into him for about 10 minutes letting him know that his recent *accomplishment* was not worthless.

I think I scared the poor boy.

Which just goes to show -- you *DO NOT* put down my friends when you're around me, even if you're putting down yourself.

Mary had a little lamb

NO -- I didn't have that particular little lamb. I was too busy eating to take pictures.

Lamb Chops with Braised Root Vegetables, Colcannon, and Irish Soda Bread

Lamp Chops

This was, by far, the most difficult part of the process.

Go to Trader Joe's -- buy lamb chops - follow directions. WHEW I'm worn out just thinking about it.

Braised Root Vegetables

2 tablespoons butter
1 pound packaged baby carrots
1 rutabaga, peeled and diced
1 onion, diced
Salt and pepper
2 cups chicken or vegetable stock

Heat a skillet with a cover over medium to medium high heat. Add butter, carrots, rutabaga and onion. Cook veggies 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add broth or stock, bring to a simmer, and reduce heat and cover. Cook vegetables 15 minutes or until fork tender. Remove from heat and set aside.

Colcannon

2 1/2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 slices bacon
1/2 small head cabbage, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup milk
Salt and pepper
1/4 cup butter, melted

Put potatoes in saucepan with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil. Cook until tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Cook bacon in skillet over medium-high heat. Drain, reserve drippings, crumble and set aside. In drippings, sauté cabbage and onion until soft and translucent, about 10 minutes.
Drain potatoes; mash with milk. Add salt, pepper, bacon, cabbage and onions. Transfer to serving bowl. Serve with butter.

Irish Soda Bread

On the south side of Chicago, near 63rd and Cicero is a GREAT Bakery called Winston's. They make GREAT Irish Soda Bread. It's about a 45 minute drive from my house (each way).

Across the parking lot from Trader Joe's in Naperville, is a place called Great Harvest Bread Company. They make a REALLY REALLY REALLY good Irish Soda Bread. It's a 6 minute drive from my house.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

(P.S. to Crem -- Colcannon at Chez Van MUCH better than Colcannon at Ballydoyle)

'Tis herself

In case anyone had any doubt, I now have scientific proof. (It MUST be true, I read it on the Internet)

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's" Your Beer Personality?

Lovely Day for a Guinness.

Yep - that's me alright.

You are 79% Burned Out

You Are 79% Burned Out

You are very burned out.You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible.And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life.Because you're working hard and going no where... and that would burn anyone out!

Are You Burned Out?

YIPPIE!!!!

A while back, Chip and I were sitting, and I was reading parts of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to him. It was rather disconcerting on MY part as he'd have me read bits, and then I'd get tired of reading and then he'd read on ahead and then a night or two later I'd be reading from further ahead.

During this time, I remember reading the "flight to freedom" scene of the Weasley Twins. For those that have read the books, it's where Fred and George decide they've had enough formal education, and leave Hogwarts (in a rather, ummm, distinctive, fashion).

Chip and I were rolling while I was reading that, I don't know whether I had forgotten how funny it was, or if it was more amusing while being read aloud. One thing I remember us talking about at the time was how we hoped that that particular scene would be included in the movie.

So today I was poking around and discovered .....

Bye Bye Fred, Bye Bye George, don't forget to write.

121 days. I think he plans that I'll be taking about 1/2 the 4th going on 5th grade boys to the midnight movie. Uncle Crem are you joining us this time I remember how much you enjoyed it last time (especially the next day).

Riddle me this

Why on EARTH did someone pay money for a van, and hire people to do this???

I mean I know of a few hundred people that would be more than happy to trade the beginning product for the end result.

THIS is MY life. If you've EVER ridden in my van, read this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEFE3B0Rje0

Make Mine Chocolate

If you look at the front page of my blog, you might notice some bunnies in the upper right hand corner. I meant to write more about this.

THIS is a good example of an Easter Bunny


THIS is another good example of an Easter Bunny

Personally, I prefer choice #2, as choice #1 will likely be eaten by the dog, and choice #2 will likely be eaten by Rambling-mom.

THIS is a house pet. It could live for up to 10 years. As a former child (some people would disagree with the use of the word "former") and as I mom, I can assure you that no matter how much the kids tell you "please, we promise we'll take care of it," they won't. Three weeks before Easter, ask the owner at any pet store where they $ell rabbit$ what they think of giving someone baby bunnie$ for Ea$ter and they will $ing the joy$ of rabbit owner$hip. (And actually, if you check out the House Rabbit Society website you can find some wonderful things about owning a rabbit). Three - Four months AFTER Easter, ask the rescue workers at any animal shelter or Rabbit Rescue society what they think about live Easter Rabbits and they'll tell you a different story. They'll tell a story of abandonment and neglect.

Now I'm not saying don't go out and get a rabbit. I'm just saying think about it, are you in it for 10 weeks???? Or 10 YEARS. ME, I'm in it for 10 minutes -- make mine chocolate.

OH -- and since Crem doesn't much like chocolate, and has no use for rabbits as pets, and since his dog Fuzz(forbrains) would destroy a stuffed rabbit in less than 5 minutes I've included a picture of an Easter Bunny just for him.

All you need is love

Okay friends, we're going to get together here to help out another friend of mine. I want to have the combined intelligence of all my readers help out with this one.

My handsome and talented friend Crem has gotten himself involved in a project put on by our young friend, KayLee. KayLee has actually written (rewritten more accurately) a production that will have its world debut on Easter at a family gathering. (It will actually be the first and last showing). At Thanksgiving we did our first production, which involved KayLee, Chip, DNiece#4, DNephew#1, Princess, and yours truly (the only adult in the production). In her second production Crem got a role (mind you, he didn't audition). Crem was very excited to get this role drafted and the other day he was wondering WHY he allowed himself to be drafted.

My immediate answer was "because you love KayLee." (I mean really why else would someone allow themselves to get suckeredvolunteered.) Crem often has the honor of being abusedpaid attention to by the kids at family gatherings.

Now, I don't know what the deal is with Crem -- I'd say he's a sociopath but that's MY gig -- at any rate he claims he's very confused about the entire definition/emotion of love.

Of course, me being the great friendsmart ass that I am, I pointed out that I've HEARD him tell his dog Fuzz(for brains) that he loves him. Crem points out that it's different with dogs. Ain't that the truth. Dogs carry a lot less emotional baggage.

Then I point out that love is a verb. I believe this quote has been attributed to Stephen Covey -- but I believe it's older than that.

Anyway being older and wiser than Crem I point out that actions speak louder than words, and his actions show that he has human relationships pretty well down. All the kids adore him (in my book any human that is adored by children and dogs is "good people" way deep down -- children and/or dogs don't love you -- well then you're suspect in my book too). And when a friend needs something he's there if he can be (but not to the point of letting himself be taken advantage of.)

I believe a concern of his might be if he actually lets ON to people that he really cares about them then they might take advantage of him.

YEAH HONEY -- like that's stopped any of us to date!!!

This weekend was not the first time we've discussed this issue, and I am MORE THAN happy to discuss this at length anytime (especially if there's a Guinness in front of me).

But I was wondering if my dear readers might have any insight about love. Don't limit this to romantic love -- friends, siblings, parent/child, other adult/child, who/whatever.

Interestingly enough, back in January on Scott Adams Dilbert Blog, Scott did a Romance Survey and asked his readers about the most romantic thing they've done. His comments on the survey are here where he noted that most people found the doing of household chores romantic. Scott, your readers are brilliant people.

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

(Okay -- so all you need is love and someone to fold the laundry).

40 years of Loving.

I was reading this article in the Chicago Tribune.

Due to copyrights (and length) I won't put in the entire article but I'll toss in some high points. A couple (Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter) got married. Moved back home to Virginia and got arrested. Why??? Well, white men and black women don't get married -- at least according to the Virginia laws at the time. In June of 1967 the Supreme Court ruled on Loving vs. Virginia which overturned rules against interracial marriage.

A cultural taboo fades

Since then, there has been an almost fourfold increase in interracial marriages, according to a report released last week by the Council on Contemporary Families, though such unions still make up only 7.5 percent of all married couples.

Hey -- on my little teeny court of 14 houses in suburbia, there are 3 interracial marriages. (HORRORS -- what ARE we teaching the children??) Of those marriages, there are 9 (count em) 9 half breeds. What *IS* the world coming to?

In 1972, 39 percent of Americans still favored laws banning them. Thirty years later, that figure had shrunk to 10 percent--and even less among young people, according to the report by the council, a non-profit organization based in Chicago.

But in 1967--13 years after Brown vs. Board of Education declared school segregation unconstitutional--interracial marriage was still taboo nationwide and illegal in 27 states. It was in that hostile climate that the Loving case started in rural Caroline County, Va. Mildred Jeter, 18 and black, fell in love with Richard Loving, 24, a white man whom she had known all her life.

"Almighty God created the races, white, black and yellow ... and placed them on separate continents, and but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages," Bazile said from the bench.

Umm -- first I totally disagree with the statement, but I'm trying to figure out where that judgement fits with "separation of church and state"???

That same year, the once scandalous debate was prompting discussion everywhere. "Star Trek" aired the first interracial kiss on national TV. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" hit movie theaters, reminding Americans that it was still considered courageous to wed across color lines--even with a groom as elegant as Sidney Poitier.

And when the daughter of Secretary of State Dean Rusk married a black man in 1967, the private decision was considered so politically risky that Time magazine gave it cover treatment.

Politicians daughter??? Marrying the "wrong person"?????

A more diverse country has created more opportunities to meet a melting pot of potential mates, experts say.

Is the country more diverse now than it was in 1967???

Additionally, as couples delay marriage, parents have less influence over the choice of their children's spouses.

Yeah -- my Mother-in-law was sooooooooooo thrilled when Spouse brought me home.

When [Brian Powell] interviewed 1,500 Americans on gay marriage, opponents sounded "eerily similar" to those who once justified laws that banned race mixing, he said.

Copyright © 2007, Chicago Tribune

Sometimes I look at our country, and our world, and think that there are a lot of backwards notions and closed minded people. On a lot of issues we've come a long way. On many issues we still have a long way to go. But, I wouldn't necessarily give up hope.

From the text for the Loving Decision ...

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

And, for today I'll leave you with a quote from on of my favorite philosophers. Fellow by the name of Keith Koebel, a former pastor of mine. From a private conversation circa 1987

I'm only closed-minded about closed-minded people.
Ain't it the truth Keith, ain't it the truth.

3 cute guys - 3 easy lessons - one theorem disproved

Yesterday Chip and Princess did not have school. They had an Institute day (an institute day here being defined as "a day when the teachers decide they've had enough of the little buggers and they're sending them home to mom and dad"). Last December we received, as a gift, a membership to the Museum of Science and Industry, Chip, Princess, a friend of theirs, and I went there over Winter break. While there, Chip informed me that he'd like to see Body Worlds 2 and my theory is if it's (a) educational, (b) free (or basically since we only have to pay for parking with our membership) and (c) my kid is asking to do it, it's a pretty sure bet I'll give in without too much pressure. So Chip, Spouse, and I went off to Chicago. We left Princess with Grandma as she would not have had the patience for this particular exhibit.



Crem also wanted to see Body Worlds, so we invited him along (HEY -- since we can bring a guest with the membership we could even afford to treat him - bises Crem - it'll be my treat anytime it doesn't cost me money oh remind me you owe me a Guinness -- HEY I bought the audio tour.) Crem works in the city, so met us at lunchtime. I went down to meet him and get him his ticket. While I was meeting him Spouse and Chip went to the Chick Hatchery. My statement has always been a watched chick never hatches as I've spent a great deal of time sitting at the chick hatchery waiting (and waiting and waiting).

So -- in the like 15 minutes or so that I'm trying to find Crem, get his coat checked in, look for the camera which I thought was in my pocket something happened. I didn't find out about this until this morning as I was downloading these pictures ...





Anyway good thing I didn't have the camera with me. So that disproves my theorem that a watched chick never hatches. Course, I love Crem but I'm going to hang the fellow now cause if I wasn't tracking him down I wouldn't have missed this. Either I'm going to hang him or I'll have him buy me (yet another) Guinness. That last picture is cute -- see the new chick hatches and one of the chicks that hatched earlier goes over and tries to walk all over the new chick. So while disproving my theorem about the watched chick we now have more to prove the theorem that sibling rivalry starts early, and is not species specific.

After this, Chip, Spouse, Crem, and I went to the Body Worlds exhibit. I won't even try to describe how absolutely friggin cool it is, save to say that if it comes to your town GO SEE IT. It will give you a new perspective on a real high tech machine.

So while we're in the exhibit (which spanned a few different rooms) Chip decided that he wanted Uncle Crem to be his buddy (which worked out pretty well as they ended up going at about the same pace). I always have Chip know that he's not allowed to disappear into another (out of site) area without checking in with an adult, and in a case where it's 3 adults to one kid I only need to have him check in with one -- as long as it's the same one.

About 2/3 of the way through Crem asked me if I'd seen Chip - neither of us had seen him in a while so we took off in different directions looking for him. I was heading back toward center and I found Chip and Chip dragged me off to where he had been (behind a great big curtain).

Behind the curtain was a very detailed description of exactly what a baby looks like at each stage of development. Easy lesson #1 -- where do babies come from. Right now my Darling Niece #1 is pregnant (so I was able to point at 16 weeks and tell him that's what his cousin looks like), so Chip and Princess both have gotten a new interest in "where babies come from." OH BABY BABY. [sooner or later I'm sure he'll want details on how the sperm and egg get together - I'm soooooo looking forward to THAT discussion].

After Chip and I finished looking at the baby growth plan, he went and hunted down Spouse. Spouse was in his own world and I had to push him gently encourage him to follow his son. While Chip and Spouse were in the baby room I ran into Crem and said "did you see where he was" "well that takes care of the 'where do babies come from' discussion." I also mentioned that we got down the "why you should never smoke" discussion. Of course Chip already knows the answer to that one "if you ever smoke you don't have to worry about the cigarettes killing you cause mom will take care of it first." Crem also pointed out that the liver does a pretty good job of discussing "why you shouldn't drink too much." (Easy lessons #2 and #3) (Of course, Crem, the liver is NO excuse for you not to buy me one or two pints of Guinness). Then Chip comes out and drags Uncle C into the baby room.

I gotta admit though -- the entire 9 months in a woman's body thing is still beyond my ability to comprehend. Life is an amazing miracle.


After we were done looking at dead bodies, we went to watch the Omnimax film Hurricane on the Bayou. This film was started a few months before Katrina, and filmed before, during, and after Katrina. This was shot by the same people that did Everest. As they seem to do films at places were chaos is about to happen, and they currently have a Grand Canyon film in production, I'd advise not going anywhere near the Grand Canyon.

After the movie, we looked around a bit more, and then went home.



Hard lesson #1 -- NEVER count on rush hour traffic when you have an appointment. I'm just sayin'



This morning Chip was wondering how much shorter one leg needs to be than the other before they put the "extendo" (an orthopedic metal bone extender) on.

In the news today

An article from Reuters Oddly Enough for entire article click here

Man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

Fri Mar 9, 2007 8:24 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

© Reuters 2007.

GEE -- I can't imagine why someone would divorce this intelligent, resourceful person bloody idiot.

Butter, Milk, Eggs

12:30 a.m. -- Rambling is mostly asleep -- dreaming lovely dreams (probably about Sven or something). Spouse comes in "Is this Butter?" "The Dog" I'm like -- is there butter ON the dog?? Nope we seem to have an extra dog around. You go out and walk the collie, and come home with a lab???? Anyway it looks sort kind like it might be the neighbor's dog - but neighbor's dog has just graduated from puppyhood to doghood so we weren't quite sure, and let's face it we pretty much don't see the neighbors (or their dogs) during the winter. In my state we hibernate. In addition, Spouse is reading a tag saying it's from Animal Control and I'm pretty sure Butter came from a pet store.

We tried tying up the dog outside our house and figured out that wouldn't work. I mean we might make the neighbor that owns the dog happy by not having the dog get loose and run over by a car -- but the REST of the neighborhood wouldn't get any sleep. So Spouse goes out to tie up lost dog at neighbor's house. While he's out I get a phone call "there's ANOTHER dog out here." I grab an extra lease, but the other dog managed to decide to wander over to the next block through the yards. (I'm not tramping through my neighbor's yards in the middle of the in my jammies). Finally while we have the first dog under the lamp Spouse notices a tag that says 24 pet find (or something) (why he didn't see that the first time ... you know back when the dog was in our WARM house) so we grab the cell phone and call the 888 number. A guy comes on the phone and we read the number off the tag. He says the name of the dog (Turner or something) and the dog belongs to neighbor's last name. I'm like "OH on such and so street?" So I guess Butter had a previous moniker.

So, we took Butter, tied her to a tree outside her home, and figure she can wake the neighbors at THAT end of the street.


I wonder if Sven is still waiting for me back behind my eyelids??

And when I'm dead and gone

I find this interesting. I looked at the quiz a couple of times. One of the items I was unsure about was whether or not I was interesting in skydiving. If I say I am NOT interested in skydiving ....

You'll die from a Heart Attack during Sex.

Your a lover not a fighter but sadly, in the act of making love your heart will stop. But what a way to go.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

HOWEVER -- if I say I *AM* interesting in skydiving ..

You'll die from an Unlikely Illness (like the plague).

You will unfortunately succumb to a random and unlikely disease. Only to find out after death that eating more broccoli would have cured you.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

So I guess if I never get around to going skydiving, I'll die from a heart attack during sex, and if I *DO* go skydiving I'll die from an unlikely illness (I suppose one I contract during my skydiving career - maybe the skydiving instructor has some deadly, highly contagious, rare illness).

And when I die, and when I'm gone, there'll be one child born in our world to carry on to carry on...

This just in -- smoking pot makes you stupid

GENERALLY -- I don't think pot is a bad thing, same with alcohol. There's a way to use things responsibly, and ways to be irresponsible.

What follows is a prime example of being irresponsible.

This is from the Star-Telegram out of Fort Worth, Texas. I'm not naive enough to believe this is the only place something like this can happen.

Teen who taped toddler smoking pot ordered held
By DOMINGO RAMIREZ JR.
STAR-TELEGRAM STAFF WRITER

WATAUGA — The teen accused of videotaping toddlers who were made to smoke marijuana has been ordered to remain in the custody of Tarrant County juvenile authorities.

...

Authorities also have arrested Demetris McCoy, 17, and his friend, Vanswan Polty, 18, both of Fort Worth, on suspicion of providing the pot for the 2- and 4-year-old children during the videotaping. McCoy is the children’s uncle.

Polty and McCoy are each charged with two counts of injury to a child. McCoy was in the Tarrant County Jail on Tuesday, with bail set at $225,000. Polty also was in the Tarrant County Jail, with bail set at $150,000.

The video shows two men who appear to be Polty and McCoy laughing as they light a marijuana cigarette for the children and hold it to their mouths.

The men also ask the children whether they “have the munchies” and call them “potheads.”

The children are seen smoking, coughing and stumbling around, according to the video.

© 2007 Star-Telegram.com and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.dfw.com

Smoking pot while being around little ones is probably not the best idea. Making a VIDEOTAPE however, is just taking the stupidity one giant step further.

Hey - at least it helps with Darwin's theory -- cause the guys that did this will likely get successfully removed from contributing to the gene pool for a few years.



And *NO CREM* you can't use the fact that one of these guys was an uncle to get out of babysitting. (a) I know you wouldn't do that to my kids and (b) my kids are old enough to know better, and to inform me anyway.

Not gonna go there ... nope not me

A bit over a year ago for all basic intents I gave up TV. Occasionally I'll watch something with Spouse, Princess, or Chip and once in a while I'll get a Netflix video out (and take two months to actually watch the thing), but generally I don't catch much TV. Yet somehow, even without my vigilance, Anna Nicole Smith managed to have a funeral. Whodathunkit.

Now I pretty much catch all my news from the Internet. In a way it's a bit of a pain and I miss the comic page but I survive. In a way it's kind of nice too - if something doesn't interest me I can look at the next story, if something does interest me I can look up more about it, and there's no wasted paper.

This brings me to the subject of adultery, specifically *me* cheating on Spouse (it follows -- trust me you'll find out later). Now, over the years (coming up on 14) I have joked, teased, wisecracked, I've flirted, and there are some "hot young studs" that I regularly hug (and sometimes tease and/or flirt with). There's even a couple of specific fellows that I will drool if I start thinking of their powerful hands (on my shoulders). I am lucky enough to know a couple of the best shoulder rubbers in the universe. Oh and then there's the default fantasy guy, Sven. Sven is a figment of the combined imaginations of my mom's group. Sven gives terrific massages don't you know.

Now, I know some folks in open marriages - and I'm sure that's okay for some but it wouldn't work for us for a few reasons.

Probably, the most predominant is that's not the deal we went in with -- I guess we're too "vanilla." But, of course, being somewhat of a comedian I've had to come up with some other reasons.

One of my favorites is that I've got a lot going on, I've got a pretty full schedule with my family, my work, friends, I figure the only way I'd have TIME to fool around would be to cut into my sleep. I ain't cutting into my sleep.

Then one of my staff points out that the overall effects of both sex and sleep are pretty similar so that's not a good enough reason. (We talk about all sorts of things at the tax office -- after all taxes are pretty boring -- gotta have something to amuse ourselves).

TODAY though I found out something that is a deal breaker. There are certain places I'd like to go in my life (I'd love to visit Alaska, Paris, and there's this beach I need to go to with my friend, JK), and there are certain other places I'd like to avoid.

One place I've never been, and really don't want to go is jail. I mean I don't know what it's like but I have a feeling it's not like THIS


with people breaking out into song. I have a hunch it's more like THIS



Now, the Illinois legal code is complex. There is a group of people trying to change that, called Clear Initiative (Criminal Law Edit, Alignment and Reform). This is all well and good (generally speaking), I'm sure that things could be simplified and clarified.

However, in their infinite wisdom and in order to help gain public approval they are planning on keeping some old laws on the books. Here's a quote from today's Chicago Tribune ...

But dodging the political landmines wasn't easy. The commission decided, for example, to retain state laws that criminalize adultery and fornication rather than risk opposition from social conservatives.

That's right -- ravamping the state laws but STILL it will be a CRIME to commit adultery or fornication.

What year is this anyway??????

Oh well, I suppose I can't fool around on Spouse -- think of it -- he won't have to divorce me, he can have me locked up.

I guess I'll just have to wait and find my hot young stud when JK and I go to that beach (which is NOT in Illinois).



(Of course, if I could get jail time with a cellmate that looked like this ....)



I'm just sayin'

Jimmy -- is this what you were thinking???

Jimmy Buffett (musician, philosopher) wrote a song called Love in the Library. Here are some of the lyrics.

Love In The Library
Jimmy Buffett, Mac McAnally

Love in the library, quiet and cool
Love in the library, there are no rules
Surrounded by stories surreal and sublime
I fell in love in the library once upon a time

So today I'm reading a story in the Chicago Tribune ..........


Teen sex in suburban library spurs charges

Tribune staff report
March 1, 2007, 9:06 PM CST

Police credited a staff member for spotting two teenagers having sex in the Woodstock Public Library, authorities said Thursday. Raul A. Tapia, 19, of the 700 block of Oak Street, Woodstock, was charged Monday with criminal sexual abuse for having consensual sex with a 16-year-old girl, a crime punishable by up to a year in jail, police said." The vigilance of the [library] staff led to the arrest," Woodstock Police Sgt. Richard Johns said. Authorities wouldn't say where the alleged incident occurred, other than that it wasn't in a restroom." It was a less-visited area," said Martha Hansen, network administrator for the library. "I can't give any details but it was an extremely isolated incident, and we're confident it won't happen again."
Tapia posted $100 bail.
Copyright © 2007, Chicago Tribune

Obviously Mr. Tapia had not hear another song Jimmy Buffett wrote, called Livingston Saturday Night. There's one pertinent line in that song ........

Fifteen may get you twenty ...

Next time check her ID

And now -- looking at the weather forecast for the next few days I'll leave you with one of my favorite song AND one of my favorite libations ...

Boat Drinks

I know I should be leaving this climate.
I got a verse but can't rhyme it.
I gotta go where it's warm.

Boat drinks.
Waitress, I need two more boat drinks.
Then I'm headin south 'fore my dream shrinks.
I gotta where it's warm.

I gotta go where it's warm.
I gotta go where it's warm.
I gotta go where there ain't any snow,
where there ain't any blow,
'cause my fin sinks so low.
I gotta go where it's warm.


P.S. personal note to Crem -- I'm thinking I'm needing me some lime juice, I'm just sayin'