Pardon my Freudian slip

Spouse and I run a business. Okay perhaps it is more accurate to say that I run a business, and Spouse is at the best of times a silent partner. (At the worst of times he's trying to "help" when he knows just enough to be dangerous).

As in any business, marketing is a very high priority, and the less expensive the marketing is, the better it is.

Since the business is a tax business, we start running at full steam next week. So I was talking about roadside visibility and was talking about putting flags out and the mundane details about buckets and wet sand vs. cement.

Spouse mentioned that we should put the banners out but I said that right now we should be putting the flags out, and we can't put the flags and banners out at the same time because the banners are taller.

So then I menioned that right now is a very opportune time to put out the flags, since it's seen as a show of patriotism since "George Bush "just died. Whoops -- hey both names begin with the letter G, and both first names have 6 letters, and both last names have 4 letters. It's a simple mistake.

(Though you'll never convince Spouse -- the diehard Republician -- that's it's NOT a Freudian slip).

Gift meme

Alto2 tagged me with this -- I hereby tag anyone else.

Holiday Gift and Shopping Meme

What is the best present you received this year?

I guess some times it's hard to say because there's so many great gifts, and some times it's hard to say because everything is for ....... but THIS year there is no doubt what the best gift I got was. I can't honestly remember the last time I got a gift that was so great, and this puts 2006 in the annals of "Christmases to remember).

It was simple. It was a card, and in the card was a piece of paper. On the piece of paper was a poem and the poem let us know that the package will arrive sometime this summer (current ETA August 1, 2007). Any of my mom friends can tell you that August babies are the BEST!!! (Even June or July or September "August babies" it's the due date that counts). I've had 20 some years of experience as an Aunt -- so I do believe that now that it's removed one generation I will be a GREAT Aunt.

What is the worst present you received this year?

I haven't gotten a worst present yet. However, Crem promised that he'd put some coal in my stocking. He hasn't done this yet so maybe my worst present is not even getting a lump of coal. Sniff sniff I shall go cry now :^).

Will you shop the after-Christmas sales?

Ummm let's see, it's Thursday and so far I've only gone shopping at Trader Joe's to get stuff for dinner, and I went to the pet store to look for supplies for SAS (Crem's dog). They didn't have the filter Crem needed for the dog bowl, so I didn't get anything for SAS, but while I was there I got a chew toy off the Christmas bin for Fuzzybutt at 1/2 price. So I'll let you, dear readers, decide whether or not that's shopping the after-Christmas sales. The times I do shop "after Christmas" sales it's because I need (or will need) certain things and figure if I can get them at 1/2 price why not. (I mean I *could* have gotten Fuzzybutt a different chew toy that wasn't red and green -- but it wouldn't have been as cheap :} ).

What is still on your wish list?

Chocolate -- I received absolutely NO chocolate for Christmas. What kind of holiday is that??

Carols

I've decided. I don't have a favorite Christmas carol -- it's sort of a fluid annual thing depending on life and such.

For instance, last year my favorite was Grown Up Christmas List

No more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal a heart...

Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end ...

All well and good and "spirit of the season" and all.

This year however I've got something completely differnet on my favorite list. It's from Jimmy Buffett. If you don't know who Jimmy Buffet is, this song is reflective of the style of Jerry Lee Lewis.

If you don't know who either of those guys are then you are entirely too young to be reading this blog.

Ho, Ho, Ho, and a Bottle of Rhum
Jimmy Buffett, Roger Guth, Pete Mayer & Russ Kunkel

Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near
He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand years
He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover his buns
He hates to admit it, but Christmas is more work than fun

I can relate to that...

He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow
Mr. Claus has a escape plans, a secret that only he knows
Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his dreams
A break from his wife, half-frozen in life
The elves and that damn reindeer team

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum

Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good
He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood
Just for the weekend he'd like to be Peter Pan
Get out of his long johns and dance with a sword
dance with a sword in the sand

(Chorus)
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum
Snata's off to the Caribbean
Marimbas, calimbas, he's playing steel drums
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum
Santa's off to the Caribbean
A week in the tropics and he'll be alright
Sporting a tan as he rides out of sight

Merry Christmas to all and to all good night

I'm thinking for me maybe a month in the tropics would be good.

Finally for you lot (that would be whoever reads this ...

A Merry Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear.

-- John Lennon and Yoko Ono

We be in trouble now .....

We're in trouble now. As you can see from the attached article, the people in charge of our missle defenses are PARTYING with their families, and equipment that cost TAXPAYER DOLLARS is used to track some relatively harmless guy.

AND not only are they wasting taxpayer dollars, and partying when they should be watching our backs, they have proof of some guy going around the world, breaking and entering millions of homes, and they're doing nothing about it.

Is THIS what I pay taxes for??? :-p) (tongue in cheek)


from How Norad tracks Santa(use this link for entire article)

How Norad tracks Santa Claus
Saturday, 23 December 2006

In 1958, the governments of Canada and the United States decided to create a bi-national air defense command for the North American continent called the North American Air Defense Command which inherited the tradition from CONAD. Since then, Canadian and American men and women spend part of their Christmas Eve with their families and friends at NORAD's Santa Tracking Operations Center in order to answer phones and provide Santa updates to the many thousands of children who call in. Last year the Norad Santa website was visited by millions of people.

How they Track Santa
According to Norad, they use four systems to track Santa - radar, satellites, Santa Cams and jet fighter aircraft.

It all starts with the North Warning System and its 47 installations across Canada's North and Alaska. NORAD constantly monitors radar for indications that Santa Claus is leaving the North Pole on Christmas Eve.

The moment radar indicates that Santa has lifted off, Norad begins to use the same satellites that are used to detect possible missile launches aimed at North America. The satellites are located in a geo-synchronous orbit at 22,300 miles above the Earth and with their infrared sensors are able to detect Rudolph's nose, which according to the command gives off an heat signature similar to a missile launch. With recent advances in technology, these satellites can detect Rudolph's bright red nose with virtually no problem.

I suppose he can find a hockey mask -- he does live in Canada

We all know that kids sometimes say cute things.

The other day Princess and I were listening to Christmas songs, and she asked the names of the reindeer. She did know one of the names .....

Slasher

She could not figure out why I was laughing so hard.

So the next time you see tiny reindeer flying overhead -- check and see if one is wearing a hockey mask. That's Slasher.

Lyrics

I don't know why I do it. I'm feeling low this time of year and I get that. I know the change in the amount of sunlight affects me. I know that there's some other stress in my life and yeah, I know I'm a cat and always land on my feet and will push on and chin up and all that.

But through it all I torture myself by listening to all Christmas all the time radio. It's like I have to plod through Christmas anyway so I'll just beat myself over the head even when I'm alone in the car. How nuts is that??? (But I've already said insanity runs in my family). And now I've gone and found a station to stream while I'm on the computer.

And, I find myself listening to lyrics, so I will share some thoughts on that ...

I get fussy about lyrics. I like traditional lyrics. There's a song called Winter Wonderland and the second verse goes something like

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
Until the other kiddies knock him down.

Now, there are like 5,624 versions of Winter Wonderland. A few completely ignore the second verse, and one or two do both verses and quite a few do the first verse (the one with Parson Brown) twice. I'm always like what's with this -- do you not like the circus clown???

So I get all up in arms when someone doesn't do the second verse of Winter Wonderland properly. I'm a staunch traditionalist, right??

On the other hand ... when it comes to good will to men; well I don't want to abide good will to men, I want good will to all. (So there, I'm not such a staunch traditionalist okay).

Then there's other things I've noticed. There's quite a few people (I count myself among them) that think that Michael Jackson is a bit off the norm. Well, I finally figured out what the deal is. A trauma happened in his home when he was 12. We all (okay those of us of a certain age) heard about it on the Jackson 5 Christmas album. He walked down the stairs (snuck down) and discovered his mother in the arms of another man?? In a strict Jehovah's Witness family???? OH my what a tragedy. Right there, in his own home, under the mistletoe, there was his mom with SANTA!!!!

ANYWAY

A very Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear.

My family, naughty or nice

Spouse
NAUGHTY sometimes :^) but that can be nice :^).
NICE We had a stellar morning (yeahsurerightbabe) and the kids got off to school late, Chip without his lunch. Spouse made lunch for Chip and drove it to school.

Chip
NAUGHTY 10 year old boys sometimes have a certain increase in testosterone. If you've ever been around one, you know what I mean. If not well count your many blessings.
NICE It's never a fight to get him into -- or out of bed.


Princess
NAUGHTY MUST be peeled off the bed every morning. No matter how much sleep she has received.
NICE If she loves you, she'll show you and tell you.

Fuzzybutt
NAUGHTY He sometimes has digestive issues with certain foods -- he sometimes forgets to tell us he needs to go out. If anyone is in the mood to give us some new flooring :^) (okay I didn't think so)
NICE As long as he's around nobody will EVER be allowed to harm a member of his family. Superbly protective.

Crem
NAUGHTY I'm sure he'd like the opportunity -- if you happen to know any 35-40 year old single women in the greater Chicago area .......
NICE Multi talented. Geek and handyman (and has a pickup truck). And if you're his friend and you need his help - he's there.


SAS (Crem's Fuzzybutt)
NAUGHTY Has issues differentiating between chew toys and furniture.
NICE He doesn't slop water all over when he drinks from his water dish (unlike my own fuzzybutt)

Yours truly
NAUGHTY I say naughty things about my family and friends
NICE I say nice things about my friends and family.

My readers Naughty or nice???

Santa has *no* respect for the rights of privacy -- he's always spying on people.

Well, this is 2006 and we've put it all out there anyway -- so it doesn't matter, Santa can just read our blogs and find out.

Have you been naughty or nice?????? Read here and find out the answer.

mll of Are we there yet:
NICE takes time off work to bake cookies with her daughters. NAUGHTY didn't send any to ramblingmom :^).

Sock Girl of Old Blue Socks:
NICE putting out chicken for Santa (I'm sure he's tired of all those cookies).
NAUGHTY well she didn't go into it, but her children did title her as the "meanest mommy in the world" so I'm sure she must have done something to deserve it. After all, her kids wouldn't make something like that up.

Mimi of The Family Blender:
NICE shares wonderful recipes with her friends.
NAUGHTY she blogs about her children -- much to their chagrin (and our amusement).

Alto2 of The Testosterone Zone:
NICE comes up with some bloody brilliant ideas sometimes.
NAUGHTY oh it's so terrible I don't even know if I should share it -- but it's out there and anyone could find out. She actually makes her child do his homework!!!! Oh the horrors.

Mom of 4K of Time for the Bell:
NICE Love her laugh.
NAUGHTY she does not keep up her blog. We need more from you girl you write so well.

Mimi's Man of Life:Found:
NICE he adores his wife, and treats her like a queen (which she well deserves).
NAUGHTY another one that doesn't keep up with blogging.

Christina from Torry Pines Reflections:
NICE does wonderful giving projects like the 3 day walk. NAUGHTY -- hmmm well she hasn't but I wonder .. the way she talks about the football coach (hehehehe)

LSM from Somewhere in the Suburbs:
NICE This has nothing to do with her blog -- but she is the most awesome scrapbooker.
NAUGHTY well -- for some reason I can't link to her blog today - which likely isn't her fault but I figure what the heck I can list it because I'm finding it irritating (okay I finally made it and put the link in).

bunnybubblette from The Adventures of Bunny Bubblette:
NICE sends people to make comments on Mr Daddys pictures.
NAUGHTY well, I hear she's made an absolute "elf" out of herself.

If you're not listed here, and want to be LET ME KNOW, and if I know you'll I'll make public comments for all the world to see. I've tried to hit the people that I actually know for a fact read this blog.

gimme gimme gimme

I know this looks a bit weird -- but I had this error I couldn't get rid of, so I removed it :} . Anyway - if you want leave me a (virtual) gift. I love getting STUFF

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for ramblingmom your username: your gift: (30 characters or less) get your stocking

a picture is worth a thousand words

Hmmm -- I wonder if I can use that line "a picture is worth a thousand words" if I decide to do nanowrimo sometime???

Yesterday I went out "shopping" with my friend Crem. Neither of us needed to BUY anything, but we stopped by a local pet store to see what was available from one of the local rescue organizations.



Point of information -- my friend Crem is male.

As we were in the store I said "HEY -- now I can say I was out with you and got a sloppy kiss"

(Course, I don't think I'd ever let ANY human male kiss me the way that Oscar kissed me -- but he's soooooooooooooooo cute -- Oscar that is, not Crem).

While we were there, we were looking at the cats that were available. We found one that looked quite like my current cat. It was a GREAT plan -- my current cat is 19 years old -- she won't be around that much longer -- we'll just sneak in another black cat. Nobody will know the difference :} :}

Of course, the cat that looked like her was male -- so someone might notice that, and then there's the possibility that another cat might not spend time hiding in my bedroom. We figured it would be suspicious if there was a cat that actually started wandering around the house and talking to people. (OH -- that and a cat living to 40 might be suspect)

Another image I saw this week in the Chicago Trib ...




Honey I said I wanted you to go TO the store, TO the store, not THROUGH the store.

3 years ago and 1/2 a world away

3 years ago today. I was hanging about doing my thing in the minivan lane with a (then) 7 year old boy.

Spouse was 1/2 a world away picking up a package.




She drives me crazy at times (LOTS of times). She's a bundle of energy that I will never be able to keep up with. Her brother would gladly trade her for a Playstation 3. She'd trade her brother for some hair bling. There are days I claim that I'd trade the lot of them for some chocolate.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Convenient AND Environmentally friendly

Today, in the Chicago Tribune, there were two articles one pro and one con for the giving of gift cards.

If you feel the need you can look them up here ....

the pro ...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-0612050297dec06,1,3461768.story

and the con

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-0612050297dec062,1,3646867.story

Having already made my mind up before reading the articles, I didn't go through them word for word. But I did like the following from the pro gift card article ...

If every clueless but well-meaning gift-giver went for a gift card instead of, say, a giant plastic topiary or a hearth rug shaped like a poodle, we'd have less garbage to recycle, fewer lies to tell and more time to spend with those we love.

Convenient, charitable (we buy gift cards through my children's' school and the school gets a cut), and doubly environmentally friendly (saves on packaging, and saves on the trip to the store to buy the original gift AND the trip back to the store when the recipient returns the gift).

AND -- I don't know about you but I know I don't have much extra room around here, and gift cards fit in a specific area, whereas I'm not sure where exactly I'd put a giant plastic topiary.

More news

From the Enquirer (Cincinnati)

The chess world's governing body announced it will introduce drug testing in the Asian Games in Qatar. Steroids? We all know how hard it is to push one of those rooks across that board.

I'm trying to think of what performance enhancing drugs would help with chess. I guess I'll have to keep an eye out the next chess tournament I go to, see what the coaches are slipping to the players between games.

OKAY OKAY -- I CONFESS!!!! The last time I went to a chess tournament I gave the boys SODA and PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock me up and throw away the key.

Sometimes I think the entire world is just a little bit off kilter.

Kinsey 6

Bit of news from last week. The following from the Washington Post


WASHINGTON -- Pentagon guidelines that classified homosexuality as a mental disorder now put it among a list of conditions or "circumstances" that range from bed-wetting to fear of flying.

The revision came in response to criticism this year when it was discovered that the guidelines listed homosexuality alongside mental retardation and personality disorders.

Okay -- I suppose this is a way for the military to get around having homosexuals in the military, without directly calling homosexuality a "mental disorder." (Gotta hand it to the Pentagon -- in what 1973(?) or something the psychiatric association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder and it's now 2006 -- they're only 30 years behind -- really builds MY confidence in the Pentagon folks).

But I had an interesting thought. There are some calling for a reinstatement of the draft. This issue has pros and cons (and I really don't need or want to get into a debate about it :} ). I give points to the argument that it would make our congresscritters think twice before voting to start a war. I mean it's one thing sending "troops" in, it's something completely different when your own kids or grandkids or nephews are in the military. (Though let's face it -- even when there was a draft there were loopholes for kids of elected officials).

But - IF the draft is reinstated, AND if homosexuality is a condition that is not conductive to military service I predict that there will be a sudden change in the numbers of those that state their homosexuality. At least between men that are 18-24.

And the winner is .........

I wonder, if I did a google search on the number of various and sundry questionnaires out there in net.land, how many are there??

One question that seems to show up often is ....

Are you a early bird or a night owl.

I guess most people seem to be one or the other, otherwise the question wouldn't show up all that often.

For some reason that question popped into my head today and I *FINALLY* figured out my once and for all final and decisive answer to that question.

Night owl????? Early bird?????

SLOTH!!!



YEP -- that works for me (or, I guess in this case, what doesn't work fits me best).

Okay - I'll steal from MLL

MLL took these questions from a list of 100 questions

1. How old will you be in five years? 5 years older than today

2. How tall are you? 5'5"

3. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! December CRASHES into Tax Season -- and then February (my worst month each year) falls in there.

I'm only looking forward to MAY -- it will get here

4. What's the last movie you saw? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

5. Who is the last person you called? Probably Crem to tell him I wouldn't be at dog class

6. Who was the last person to call you? Crem (to tell me he was stopping by after dog class)

7. What was the last text message you received? "No. Can't do that"

8. Do you preffer to call or text? Depends on the situation

9. Do you have any pets? one dog, one cat, one guinea pig.

10. What were you doing at 12am last night? sleeping

11. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? They were married from 1950 til my dad died in 1978

12. When is the last time you saw your mom? 1982

13. What color are your eyes? Sort of a non descript

14. What time did you wake up today? 7:30

15. What are you wearing right now? Jammies

16. What's your favorite Christmas song? I wanna Hippopotamus for Christmas

17. Where is your favorite place to be? BED

18. Where is your least favorite place to be? cleaning dog poop

19. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Nude resort in the Carribean

20. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Illinois

21. Do you tan or burn? Mostly burn.

22. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Hmmm funny I don't remember fearing anything at night as a child. After I actually did have a boogie man come after me, I would often have "nested" dreams about being attacked (sleeping and dreaming about being attacked only to "wake up" and find I was being attacked).

23. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

24. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

25. How big is your bed? King

26. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Both

27. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot, I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not.

28. What color are your sheets? Whatever color was on clearance at Land's End

29. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1-3

30. What is your favorite season? fall

Thanks MLL

Now, THAT'S a friend

Today I wasn't feeling well. All the sudden around mid afternoon my stomach said STOP and I sat still for a while and felt okay -- but moving around wasn't a good plan. So I did manage to sit still and watch some videos I've had out for too long.

However, another problem presented itself. Wednesday nights is "class" night. I take fuzzybutt to his obedience class, and Crem takes his own fuzzybutt to class (also sometimes known as "my favorite nephew" :} -- don't tell my human nephew that).

So -- tonight the spouse and son (a/k/a Chip and "the old block") went to class for me.

It was an interesting evening I understand. After class the instructor called me AND Crem stopped by. Quite the excitement with a little bit of an almost dog tussle and then, well come to find out I'm not the only one in the family with stomach upsets.

A friend will take a class with you.

A good friend will help you out in class.

A *REALLY REALLY GOOD* friend will clean up when your fuzzybutt has diarrhea in class.

(Gotta hand it to Crem -- usually I'm in charge of bringing the roll of paper towels and cleaner to class -- I'd completely forgotten to send it with my boys - but Crem brought his own and then cleaned up).

The face

I guess we all sometimes do the "chin up" "grin and bear it" "smile and get it over with" face. Sometimes you have one face you show the world while you're really going bonkers.

Today I look like .......




But really feel like



I one time saw an inflatable image of Munch's The Scream. I should have bought it. Not only to use as a punching bag, but also to remind me that no matter how often I've felt like ........



Life eventually gets better (remember the mantra "this too shall pass".)

But I'm not going to give myself any of that bunk about how "things can't get any worse" because I know that *EVERY DArN TIME* I've said that to myself ......

Sure enough -- things got worse.

The One Word Meme

The idea is to respond in one word with no explanations.

The One Word Meme

Yourself: Tired
Your partner: short-fused
Your hair: natural
Your Mother: yoyo
Your Father: principled
Your Favorite Item: chocolate
Your dream last night: curly
Your Favorite Drink: guinness
Your Dream Car: mustang convertible
Your Dream Home: paid
The Room You Are In: living room
Your Ex: where?
Your fear: pain
Where you Want to be in Ten Years: organized
Who you hung out with last night: family
What You’re Not: organized
Muffins: blueberry
One of Your Wish List Items: chocolate
Time: bedtime
The Last Thing You Did: read
What You Are Wearing: sweater
Your favorite weather: crisp
Your Favorite Book: drivel
Last thing you ate: watermelon
Your Life: limbo
Your mood: tight
Your Best Friends: solid
What are you thinking about right now:Crem
Your car: minivan
What are you doing at the moment: Blogging
Your summer: hot
Relationship status: Married
What is on your TV: Dust
What is the weather like: Crisp
When is the last time you laughed:

have it your way at worship

For those that don't know -- from the liturgical point of view, the church calendar "begins" with the first Sunday of advent, and "ends" the week before Advent, in some churches (Roman Catholic, some Methodist churches, and some others, this is Christ the King Sunday). That would be today.

There is a Contemporary Worship service at my church. It is rather "new", and runs on a little tighter budget, it also has a shorter history of decor to run with. It's also recently taken on a new location and let's just say things run on a shoestring.

I mean *REALLY* on a shoestring.

So today I'm sitting in worship and I'm looking at the Altar. There's a cross, some very artistically draped fabric, and a crown hanging off one side of the arm.

And I'm looking at it thinking "hmmmm what is is about this picture"

So, later I was talking to one of the ministers.

So, ummmm, who decorated the altar for Contemporary Worship today?

I did.

And, can I ask was that actually a Burger King crown on the cross?

Yes, it was.

I'm thinking I need to talk to someone about the budget.

FIRST -- using decor from kid's meals???

And SECOND, I'm thinking the Pastors need to get paid a little more so they can buy ADULT meals and not have to survive on kid's meals :^).

(just kidding -- I think Pastor J can afford real food, and I'm sure that there would have been resources for something else -- it actually looked really good, and if you don't live with a 6 or under you probably wouldn't have realized it).